Preparation for summer - Action plan

On Monday I got some great news (though could have been better ones). I will go for a summer internship to Benifaió, Valencia, Spain through IAESTE Slovakia.

I wanted to write down my action plan, but got an e-mail from them (IAESTE), describing what they will need from me to do, to proceed with my application. And even then I just have a very high probability to go... I hate it when it's less then 99.69%...

I was always screaming when I was unsatisfied with something to everyone instead of talking to the person I needed to talk to, as I got used to the fact, that when I need attention usually people don't listen. And as for today I wanted to write onto my blog anyway, so I think I will write down the unpleasant facts around this traineeship, which though will be solved in a few weeks.

What angers me now is:
add 1.) The loosy description of the company, and what kind of work I will do there... This won't be that a big problem, but they would like to have a motivation letter from me, which is in this case I think pretty absurd. Of course, there are no limits for inspiration, if the price is right, which is (live in a different culture, country. The first time I will have the experience I'm so interested in)... And I heard now, that they can cancel my internship if they want to. But I have as usually no real information.
add 2.) The second interesting think is, that they want to get a list of subjects, I have completed in school... also quite absurd as I'm quite sure, that I will get that only in Slovak... so would be quite interested what does guys will do with it.
add 3.) That I didn't know this could happen. The actual information flow from IAESTE was, that I will have to make language test, give some papers after that, and then I will be able to go abroad. This was in November. Since then no information at all. And now I'm surprised. And actually this is what angers me the most. I hate it when something appears, what I'm not prepared for. It simply drives me mad.

On the other hand I have to say, that this gives me a feeling of great pleasure after making the tasks. But usually it took 2-3 hours to get the results of my work. Now it can be weeks. grrr I hate to wait with things that influence me so much and can't do anything about them (and I'm sure there are just a very few ppl, who wouldn't feel the same).

Maybe I'm just comparing to much, as I worked in AIESEC, that has a totally different way of managing these kind of things. Maybe.

On the other hand, please don't get scared by this entry. It is a mood, which will pass away, in my heart I'm excited and more then happy, that I've got this chance. I'm looking forward to it, and want to get as much as I can from it. So all in all, imagine me with a smile on my face ;)

"Emotional security" or when things change

I'm very sad in the last weeks, cause I lost a point I could lean on emotionally. I believe that most of the people have habits they don't give up, because they are used to it and feel secure doing/experiencing them. Such habits, moments can relate to experiencing the same situation for a long time, or just a few moments which carved themselves in our minds. Some of the situations I value: is a shower with hot (not boiling) water on my skin, as I used to go to the thermal baths quite often in my childhood - this brings quite pleasant memories back. Or simply sitting before the computer and hearing music which is in harmony with my feelings. This is more like a dull feeling of comfort. A feeling of something I know and am sure, that nothing can surprise me or hurt me when I do it.

I lost such a secure point in my life this year. After so much talk about climate change and such this year I finally admitted that it can be true. The second sunny warm winter in the south of Slovakia. How sad for me. If you live your whole life with four seasons than you can't really imagine, how could it be without one of them, how could it change. And now it is here. While the spring is still full of the birth of life - bloom, animals appear, the summer is hot as always - giving the feeling of freedom and joy, the autumn amazes me with all its color and gifts I miss the winter. I miss the snow.

The nature died this year also. The trees lost their leaves, the flowers disappeared as most of the birds and animals, but the country didn't disappear before my eyes under a white layer of snow. Except of x-mas and New Years Eve there was no snow or snowing around. I miss the feeling from my childhood, when I made snowballs, enjoyed the falling snowflakes.
I shouldn't romanticize the memories too much. But the though of snow comforted me. And this feeling is missing this year. If I would go into the wiccan believe - though the sun was killed in autumn this year again, his body was never buried. The cycle of life lost from it's beauty.

I want to see real winter in my hometown again.