Music

What does music mean to me? Why do I need it?

Music is emotion. Music is a way of self-expression. Music is a feeling. It influences every cell in my body and mind. It influences my mood and I want it to do so.

The only problem is, that the same music gives a totally different feeling to different people. See I don't like electonic at all, as my head begins to ache when I here the constant drum-machine for half an hour. On the other hand some people use it to party hard... Thats quite a shame, cause I think music could be much more used for defining feelings than words, if people would feel similar about hearing the same music. But we are different also in this way...

I think if we could simply share what's in our minds wouldn't work neighter as the optimal way of communicatin. 1. question is what we will share. Moments or memories in our minds, that pop up? But then if I want to say somebody I feel relaxed, then maybe I would send a picture with a me on a jazz concert with one of the best solos on guitar or saxophone or vocals or drums or... (Sorry got away with the though... or bass ... :)) While the one I'm sending my memories doesn't understand jazz at all...
But what if we would send feelings? Except of the problem in modern society that we don't want to share our feelings, cause what happens if somebody hurts us, I think also the same problem can come up as with pictures. Misunderstanding based on the character of the person. For me in a way even though it hurts a bit the feeling of solitude is a way of expressing comfort and safety. I don't know what you are associating with solitude. It could be fear, boredom...
So I think there will be always the question, how we can express ourselves the way ppl would understand us properly... maybe we can't. Though I would wish we could at least smile at eachother from our hearts more. It's a fine feeling for me if someone smiles at me :)

back to music
I do live my whole life with music. During everyday life I hear mostly calm, could say 'sleepy' music, as it is very fine to sleep on this kind of music. I think I like it better that way. I don't like to run in general. :) Although some more energy would be nice to do my work better...

And now a sortiment of the music I was/am listening to:
I like different kinds of music but it has to be instrumental music. From Rock through different Jazz and Blues styles through metal till some classics and also german pop-rock and the kind of english pop which The Verve plays. So basically if I would like to wtirte down my evolution (one phase is specified by the fact that I have listened to that interpret the most):
0.phase - Republik, LGT, Queen
1.phase - Nirvana, Mettalica
2.phase - Nightwish
3.phase - Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple
4.phase - Agnes Milewski, K's Choice, The Verve, Richard Ashcroft, Coldplay, Omega
5.phase - Anime OSTs, Enya, Afro Celt Soundsystem, Waking Vision
6.phase - Dire Straits, Fleetwood Mac
6,9.phase - Nohavice, Ghymes
7.phase - Macy Gray, Morcheeba
8.phase - Radiohead
9.phase - Tatrai band, LGT, Presser Gabor

Something like this. Of course I have to add that till now I was on two Glenn Hughes (ex-bassist of Deep Purple) concerts. Gods it's incredible what that man can do with his voice. The atmosphere which I felt there was always fascinating and touching. I can recommend him to everybody who likes to see a group of "high-end" musicians on the stage.
Here is most propably the right place to thank Luki for a lot of hours teaching (well telling me) about music. Thank you a lot, you gave me a widther overview about music.

PS: as I was writing this blog I found a new pearl :) Robin Thrower. Style is near to Led Zeppelin. Extremelly nice drum solo at the end :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s14laZt2qZg

Missed a concert, met a friend

Last weekend I went to BP (Budapest), Hungary. I wanted to go there for the concert of Roger Waters, but I couldn't get the tickets in time :( Sorry Luki, I tried my best. At least now I have a communication system for Budapest.
As I was at least able to arrange accodomation I said to myself that I will go anyway.
The way there was typical like me: 1. went home from BA (Bratislava), as I had to deliver a bill to my father. Took my sleeping bag also, so when I go back to BA to catch the train to BP I don't have to get back to my room. Of course I realized only at home, thatI forgot to take my money with me, which was also in BA. So I went back in the morning, to get the money, but then again I forgot my sleeping bag there...

On the train I was talking to a guy who just came back from France from a conference. He is working on minority problems. Well this topic is quite interesting for me, as basically I'm in a minority... (Hungarian in Slovakia). But I think I will have a Post specially for this topic.

Anyway. Had a nice chat with him for an hour. And after that Tamas came for me on the station. Brought me to his home. Quite nice place. We were talikng the whole night through. Sharing electronic information and a lot of stories. Haven't seen him for 2 years.

So the next day I went met with my cousin in BP for lunch. Haven't talked to him for ages, also. And then I went home.

The interesting part of sunday was when I saw a movie I took with me from BP. It's called What The Bleep Do We Know About The World. It was a movie that gave me a new view on thing. Some of the thoughts which stayed on my mind are:
Everyone is addicted to fellings, which then inspire their behaviour.
You create your surronding.
Are you strong enough to make a change in yourself? Can you bear the loss which could come with it? Like loosing some of your best friends because maybe they cant come along with the person you have become?
Unity.
You can become God if you get aware.
There where some more... though I cant remember. Will maybe write a post about this also. Anyway, some of these sentences are taken out of the context... like the God one... so dont interpret to much into it.

So long.

new PC

Finally!!! After comparing a lot of hardware components I finally made up with a quite fine new PC for 15.000 Skk (1Euro -> 34 Skk, around 450 Eur). For those who understand:
Intel Core 2 Duo E6300 1.8GHz BOX 775 2MB dual
ASUS P5ND2 SE
CORSAIR DDR2 1GB 667MHz
ASUS GeForce EN7600GT 256MB HTDI PCX

I wanted originally a an MSI GeForce, but they had none. :(
So now I have almost have a functional PC...
1. problem RAM is not fully enabled - uses it only on 553Mhz and not on 667Mhz, which is quite annoying...
2. had some problems with installation because I put the two CD drives above eachother, the DVD player didn't read the CDs properly... After I unplugged the CD drive it works fine.

The graphical capacity is enormous I think. So now I'm trying to get some games where I can try out the graphical capacity - like Oblivion :).

Changes in life

In the last few weeks I realized that there are a lot (this year I met around 4-5) of people in this world who encourage me to live. This doesn't mean that I'm thinking of some kind of a suicide. I had none of these kind of thoughts for ages. The last time, when I was 10, but then I told to myself, that it has no "logic" to do suicide. It is a simple loose situation, as you never know what will come, what will happen. Life is about changes... Well of course I never was tortured. I don't know what would happen if I would feel constant pain for a longer time.

... talking again of something else then I originally wanted to... I have on the last few years a constant bad mood. Not letting people near to me. Being to neutral I guess, though in some ways I don't know how change it. So I would encourage now everybody who knows a solution for my problem please help me:

The problem: having no ideas how to start a conversation, or what to talk about.
What do you do, if you meet somebody whom you like, with whom you would like to talk for hours, who makes you feel fine just when he/she smiles, or you can make them smile and you have no words, you have no thoughts which would came in your mind, simple emptyness. And if something comes in your mind, then it has nothing to do with the topic, or has no real value in your eyes?
What happens if you can't start and lead a conversation in our world, where conversation is the A-Z of basic relationships. Where you meet with ppl more often through the internet and mobile phones then on the street.

Thats my problem in the last years, or maybe in my whole life. The need is there, but I feel like the tools for realization are missing. So please help me :)

PS: trying to see the world with a sunshine on my face. maybe I'm a masochist, that's why I'm not depressed like hell :)