Preparation for summer - Action plan

On Monday I got some great news (though could have been better ones). I will go for a summer internship to Benifaió, Valencia, Spain through IAESTE Slovakia.

I wanted to write down my action plan, but got an e-mail from them (IAESTE), describing what they will need from me to do, to proceed with my application. And even then I just have a very high probability to go... I hate it when it's less then 99.69%...

I was always screaming when I was unsatisfied with something to everyone instead of talking to the person I needed to talk to, as I got used to the fact, that when I need attention usually people don't listen. And as for today I wanted to write onto my blog anyway, so I think I will write down the unpleasant facts around this traineeship, which though will be solved in a few weeks.

What angers me now is:
add 1.) The loosy description of the company, and what kind of work I will do there... This won't be that a big problem, but they would like to have a motivation letter from me, which is in this case I think pretty absurd. Of course, there are no limits for inspiration, if the price is right, which is (live in a different culture, country. The first time I will have the experience I'm so interested in)... And I heard now, that they can cancel my internship if they want to. But I have as usually no real information.
add 2.) The second interesting think is, that they want to get a list of subjects, I have completed in school... also quite absurd as I'm quite sure, that I will get that only in Slovak... so would be quite interested what does guys will do with it.
add 3.) That I didn't know this could happen. The actual information flow from IAESTE was, that I will have to make language test, give some papers after that, and then I will be able to go abroad. This was in November. Since then no information at all. And now I'm surprised. And actually this is what angers me the most. I hate it when something appears, what I'm not prepared for. It simply drives me mad.

On the other hand I have to say, that this gives me a feeling of great pleasure after making the tasks. But usually it took 2-3 hours to get the results of my work. Now it can be weeks. grrr I hate to wait with things that influence me so much and can't do anything about them (and I'm sure there are just a very few ppl, who wouldn't feel the same).

Maybe I'm just comparing to much, as I worked in AIESEC, that has a totally different way of managing these kind of things. Maybe.

On the other hand, please don't get scared by this entry. It is a mood, which will pass away, in my heart I'm excited and more then happy, that I've got this chance. I'm looking forward to it, and want to get as much as I can from it. So all in all, imagine me with a smile on my face ;)

"Emotional security" or when things change

I'm very sad in the last weeks, cause I lost a point I could lean on emotionally. I believe that most of the people have habits they don't give up, because they are used to it and feel secure doing/experiencing them. Such habits, moments can relate to experiencing the same situation for a long time, or just a few moments which carved themselves in our minds. Some of the situations I value: is a shower with hot (not boiling) water on my skin, as I used to go to the thermal baths quite often in my childhood - this brings quite pleasant memories back. Or simply sitting before the computer and hearing music which is in harmony with my feelings. This is more like a dull feeling of comfort. A feeling of something I know and am sure, that nothing can surprise me or hurt me when I do it.

I lost such a secure point in my life this year. After so much talk about climate change and such this year I finally admitted that it can be true. The second sunny warm winter in the south of Slovakia. How sad for me. If you live your whole life with four seasons than you can't really imagine, how could it be without one of them, how could it change. And now it is here. While the spring is still full of the birth of life - bloom, animals appear, the summer is hot as always - giving the feeling of freedom and joy, the autumn amazes me with all its color and gifts I miss the winter. I miss the snow.

The nature died this year also. The trees lost their leaves, the flowers disappeared as most of the birds and animals, but the country didn't disappear before my eyes under a white layer of snow. Except of x-mas and New Years Eve there was no snow or snowing around. I miss the feeling from my childhood, when I made snowballs, enjoyed the falling snowflakes.
I shouldn't romanticize the memories too much. But the though of snow comforted me. And this feeling is missing this year. If I would go into the wiccan believe - though the sun was killed in autumn this year again, his body was never buried. The cycle of life lost from it's beauty.

I want to see real winter in my hometown again.

Every coin has two sides (Benazir Bhutto)

While the media gave me a picture of Benazir Bhutto as a holy woman, it was very interesting as a friend living in Pakistan gave a different picture of her.

http://klepo.net/journal/
please look up - Day 213 (30.12.07) - The political Dynasty of Bhutto

Sorry, but only in Slovak: there is also a Slovak entry on his site + read also the feedbacks on the article, he is referring to.

http://klepo.net/slovensky/index.htm
Deň 214 (31.12.2007) - moj pohlad na Benazir Bhuttovu...

The Plains - Petőfi Sándor

I have the feeling that most of the people I know from my hometown and surroundings, with whom I was going into grammar and high-school have something in common. We love the place we are living. It is nothing special, I believe most of the people feel the same about their hometown and the places around it.
I won't go deep into the talk about why I feel so, cause it isn't anything you can describe, I rather put here a poem of a Hungarian poet. I won't translate the whole poem, just the phrases I had to learn in school and are still sometimes flying in my mind - cause I feel that way. It's quite a hard text to translate.

1.verse:
What are you for me, grim pine-grove lands,
Wilderness of the Carpathian Mountains
Though I admire you, but I don't love you,
And my thoughts don't wander in your valleys

2.verse:
Down on the plains, flat as the sea,
There I feel at home, there's my world
I'm like an eagle which escaped from his prison
When I see the never ending fields.

3.verse
Then my mind flies up
Above the ground near the clouds,
With the smile of the fields
From the Danube to the Tisza .

Last verse:
You are beautiful, plains, at least beautiful for me!
Here was my cradle slewed, I was born here.
Here should the shroud burrow my face, here
should my grave round up above me.


Az Alföld - Petőfi Sándor

Mit nekem te zordon Kárpátoknak
Fenyvesekkel vadregényes tája!
Tán csodállak, ámde nem szeretlek,
S képzetem hegyvölgyedet nem járja.

Lenn az alföld tengersík vidékin
Ott vagyok honn, ott az én világom;
Börtönébõl szabadúlt sas lelkem,
Ha a rónák végtelenjét látom.

Felröpûlök ekkor gondolatban
Túl a földön felhõk közelébe,
S mosolyogva néz rám a Dunától
A Tiszáig nyúló róna képe.

Délibábos ég alatt kolompol
Kis-Kunságnak száz kövér gulyája;
Deleléskor hosszu gémü kútnál
Széles vályu kettõs ága várja.

Méneseknek nyargaló futása
Zúg a szélben, körmeik dobognak,
S a csikósok kurjantása hallik
S pattogása hangos ostoroknak.

A tanyáknál szellõk lágy ölében
Ringatózik a kalászos búza,
S a smaragdnak eleven szinével
A környéket vígan koszorúzza.

Idejárnak szomszéd nádasokból
A vadlúdak esti szürkületben,
És ijedve kelnek légi útra,
Hogyha a nád a széltõl meglebben.

A tanyákon túl a puszta mélyén
Áll magányos, dõlt kéményü csárda;
Látogatják a szomjas betyárok,
Kecskemétre menvén a vásárra.

A csárdánál törpe nyárfaerdõ
Sárgul a királydinnyés homokban;
Odafészkel a visító vércse,
Gyermekektõl nem háborgatottan.

Ott tenyészik a bús árvalyányhaj
S kék virága a szamárkenyérnek;
Hûs tövéhez déli nap hevében
Megpihenni tarka gyíkok térnek.

Messze, hol az ég a földet éri,
A homályból kék gyümölcsfák orma
Néz, s megettök, mint halvány ködoszlop,
Egy-egy város templomának tornya. –

Szép vagy, alföld, legalább nekem szép!
Itt ringatták bölcsõm, itt születtem.
Itt borúljon rám a szemfödél, itt
Domborodjék a sir is fölöttem.

x-mas present

The last couple of years I used to write poems on x-mas, and send them to friends in short messages(sms). This year I have sent the wrong "version" (0.69) of my x-mas letter, so the poem didn't came to the ppl... and somehow I had a bad mood most propably, cause I wasn't able to do the same in Hungarian and Slovakian... So I will share mz verse here anyway. It is very amateur, as I used to say the though is what counts :)

I used to write in x-mas time
a poem or two for those I like
So I send here with all that's dear
My best wishes for your next year

The sun should shine, the rain should fall
Good people come and bad should go
Smile a lot, enjoy your time
Remember the words: "This life is mine"

And remember too, the wise mans clue:
"Make people happy, it comes back to you!"

Thomas Barrett - The Pentagon's new map for war and peace

A new way of thinking on war for me. Not really a surprising idea, the problem is I didn't hear about it, yet. Wars in the past were started to get territories, usually the main powers were accepting the changes on the world maps, and if some citizens didn't agree, then they were executed... Well we are trying to establish a more "democratic" world in the last century, which means, that the citizens who disagree with the new situation shouldn't be butchered without consequences. But on the other hand we want as few as possible resistance on the conquered territories.
I think the sentence, which describes the presentation the best is:
"Don't plan for the war, until you plan for peace."
The presentator enforces the creation of a new force in the US army, which would specialize on "peacekeeping", it should be an open platform, which means that it should after a while be based on international cooperation rather then a US specialized force. The goal of the force should be - gaining trust, help at the rebuilding phase and give the possibility for a clean start. Anyway, the idea, how I understood it, sounds good, has of course it's possibilities in misusing, but generally looks fine for a positive non-zero outcome. (I will try to not forget and write on the non-zero outcomes another blog entry)

Following the trend - Names

I just read an article, that a lot of people from the USA are googling (googling - should be already acknowledged as a word... at least on the google domain, where also this site belongs to) out their own name and information about their friends. So I though I will do the same and googled a bit:

1.) www.peterhajdu.com - according to this site, he was a famous accordion player. Died just in 2006. He was fleeing from Hungary Revolution in 1956 (which was then supressed by the soviets. I used to hear in my hometown, that if at that time the western countries would have answered Hungary's call for freedom, it could have been successful. But that is not the way things used to work in our society, not then and neither after that).

"October 23, 1956, is a day that will live forever in the annals of free men and nations. It was a day of courage, conscience and triumph. No other day since history began has shown more clearly the eternal unquenchability of man's desire to be free, whatever the odds against success, whatever the sacrifice required." - John F. Kennedy, on the first anniversary of the Hungarian Revolution.

On the above mentioned site it is also able to hear some of his music, though it was converted from LPs so the quality is not always good.

Through him I got also to another site: http://web.axelero.hu/nadori2/1045/index.html

A selection of Hungarian music from the 60's (you can here teh actual songs when you click on the numbers) Studio 11 can be heard also today in the Hungarian Radio Statin Kossuth. Illes reunited a few years ago and had a huge success. Metro is told as one of the legends of its time, many of the musicians from Metro then formed afterwards one of (my oppinion) Hungaries best bands of all times - LGT. And the last one Kóos János - if you say to a Hungarian person - Kislány a zongoránál (small girl at the piano) then everyone will know who you mean. This is a different song from him.

2.) The second person is a now living Hungarian TV show host. Though he has never achieved anything I would consider worth to mention.

3.)
http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/P%C3%A9ter_Hajd%C3%BA
hard to understand when it is just so little written down about him + that it is in French... Though seems like a linguistic researcher.
http://www.lib.pte.hu/kulongyujtemenyek/hh-eng.htmFound another link. According to the English article on the university of Pécs he was working mostly on the field of Finno-Ugric relationships and linguistics. This is also a topic near to me, though I enjoy more the science around the coexistence of different nations, religions and cultures.

The Stairways To Heaven Are Opened Again

Led Zeppelin Concert in London! Hopefully this means that a tour will also start sooner... :) It goes back a few years when I discovered this band, though we had a lot of CDs home from them. My father bought them.

I was listening to the Remasters album over and over again. Whole Lotta Love, Stairways To Heaven, Dazed And Confused, Achilles Last Stand. I can't say with words what I felt when I was listening to these and a lot other songs, I just enjoyed them. And a possibility to hear it life would be a dream come true.

A guy who taped some songs uploaded Stairways To Heaven on youtube. His words are more then motivating for me.
"To viewers who were not at the concert, grown men who have come from 5,000 miles/km away to be squeezed against each other at the urinals, were looking at each other, trying to receive another confirmation that they really were at this surreal gathering of the quarter century ...."

Some other reviews found on the BBC site!

Links I have found from this concert:

Good Times, Bad Times
Stairway to Heaven
Black Dog
The Song Remains The Same

MANDATORY WATCHING!!!

The woman in the movie below talks about the steps getting to a dictatorship like Hitlers Germany and Stalins Soviet Union. She also compares the happenings to what happens now in the USA. I do not have the information verified showed in this clip. None of it. Anyway it is interesting to hear.



A Czech article I found this video in: Senátní návrh zákona č. 1955 kriminalizující názory, blogy, knihy a svobodu projevu vůbec po celé Americe
And look for articles/blogs about: "The Violent Radicalization and Homegrown Terrorism Prevention Act". This is my best lead for now. Looks like a quite radical law...
I don't know for sure where to look for government stuff in the USA, but I think this is the right spot to read what it is all about: http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/D?c110:1:./temp/~c1108XuTgZ::

Akeboshi

I will once in a while upload song texts which I hear in different moods. As music is not only the instruments playing (OK, this time I include into instruments also a PC, though won't do it again most probably), but there are a few songs, interprets, which caught my attention with their lyrics.

Akeboshi is the first artist I want to introduce. A Japanese pop and folk singer. What amazes me in his art is a very simple melody which I think it is unique in his way. The most charismatic details in his performance is his voice and the acoustic guitar or piano. Though it was a song with an English text that caught my attention most of his songs are in Japanese never the less they are more then enjoyable.

The song caught me because I believe it has pearls of wisdom I can find myself in or would like to live according to. That's all.
I think it is a great motivational song. The simple rule of fight while you can and don't look back.

"Motivate your Anger..." - I try to control my emotions in almost every second of my life. It makes me look like a neutral person, who does not have a lot of emotions. I enjoy the fact that it makes me have a better overview of the situation.

"Sneakin' out the classroom, by the back door
A man railed at me twice, though
But i didn't care
Waiting is wasting, for people like me"
- is close to my heart because of my experience in a non-for-profit organization. Searching for opportunities, not waiting for them. This is my interpretation.

"Reflections of fear make shadows of nothing" is one of my favorite lines, as it also describes my thinking. And very often I know I would be off much better doing the think I want to do, and I still don't.

"You Still are blind if you see winding road
'Cos there's always a straight way to the point you see"
- for me this means that when you have a goal then don't distract your attention with thinks you must not do.

Akeboshi's popularity all around the world came thanks to the anime series Naruto (who knows a bit about anime has for sure heard about this serial). In the ending of the first episodes the first two verses of Wind were played. Thats exactly where he caught my attention also.

At the end of the article, there will be links on his songs, which were used on different "fun-art" videos.

Wind lyrics

Cultivate your hunger, before you idealize
Motivate your Anger, to make them all realize
Climbing the mountain, never coming down
break into the contents, never falling down

My knee is still shaking like i was twelve
Sneakin' out the classroom, by the back door
A man railed at me twice, though
But i didn't care
Waiting is wasting, for people like me

Don't try to live so wise,
Don't cry 'cos your so right
Don't dry, with fakes or fears
'cos you will hate yourself in the end

Don't try to live so wise,
Don't cry 'cos your so right
Don't dry, with fakes or fears,
'cos you will hate yourself in the end

You say dream the dream
I ain't gonna play the fool anymore
You say 'cos i still got my soul

Take your time baby
Your blood needs slowin'down
Breach your soul to reach yourself, before you gloom
Reflections of fear make shadows of nothing
-shadow of nothing-

You Still are blind if you see winding road
'Cos there's always a straight way to the point you see

Don't try to live so wise
Don't cry, 'cos your so right
Don't dry, with fakes or fears
'Cos you will hate yourself in the end

Don't try to live so wise
Don't cry 'cos your so right
Don't dry with fakes or fears
'Cos you will hate yourself in the end

Don't try to live so wise
Don't cry 'cos your so right
Don't dry with fakes or fears
'Cos you will hate yourself in the end

'Cos you will hate yourself in the end
'Cos you will hate yourself in the end
'Cos you will hate yourself in the end

Wind
Rusty Lance
A Nine Days Wonder
Night And Day
Yellow Moon

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update 2009.07.05:
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I found the translation for Haikyo no Sofa (the translation is in the comments):
This is a rainy city, formerly a beautiful and legendary port city
Now ruins stand here, and it overflows with people that pester you for change

In a house where a student with different colored skin lives
Is where I've settled down; Only half a year has passed since that rainy day
I walked on because of the stubborn sound of the bell
I'll find us on a stone-paved road

Walking in the rain I've been told today
never wanna see you again.
I feel like I'm still wet in this tiny room
why should I pretend to be high.
I walk to Green Fish to listen to the sound of silence.
A man who plays the harp gently shakes my hand
and he leads me in to the story of him.

I see you shouting and yelling and struggling
But I can't hear your voice
I see you shouting and yelling and struggling
But I can't feel the same

I headed up ahead for a cafe on the edge of town, not finding a song I want to hear
My cold heart melts with the smell of the soup and the Celtic tones
I wonder how many times I've been saved by the conversations of the round old man that picks herbs?
The heading on the newspaper on the table somehow projects what's outside

Please send a comment if one of the links doesn't work. Arigato.